I have found that anxiety and perfectionism are closely linked. When you believe there is one right way to do everything, getting started on things can be almost impossible. That is because it seems unrealistic to do many things perfectly and completely in the allotted time. Whenever I have lots to do, I end up stuck in my head, going in circles over what to do first.
“Which is most important? Can I finish in time, achieving the desired results, or should I do this another time?” As you might imagine, this endless thought loop leads to wasted time and getting nothing accomplished. Then, not only is there anxiety over what to do, but there is fear over falling further behind, and then feelings of guilt and frustration over not getting anything done.
Many years ago, when I was in an intensive out-patient treatment program for depression and anxiety, I learned several helpful strategies to deal with those scenarios I’ve come to label as “being paralyzed.” Believe me, I have not “arrived” in terms of never dealing with this issue anymore, but it occurs less often now. If I employ the strategies I learned, I can “interrupt” the brain loop and “get out of” the destructive thought patterns.
The first strategy is: Do something physical. Take a walk. Put in a short and simple exercise video. Do some stretches. Whatever. The point is, by getting the blood pumping and the body moving, it focuses more attention onto the body rather than the mind. And it feels good. Endorphins start flowing. Immediately the mood is elevated, if ever so slightly. Then there is a small rush of motivation. Use it.
The second strategy: After exercise, pick a task. DON’T THINK. Just pick one thing that bothers you. If the rug needs vacuuming, do it. Don’t worry that the rest of the room needs dusting and that it makes more cleaning sense to work from the top down. If vacuuming the dang rug will make you feel better, DO IT!
Suddenly, you’ve accomplished two things: You’ve exercised or got moving and cleaned the rug! Now usually this is enough to get myself “unparalyzed,” and I’m so motivated I end up doing lots more. It is important to keep a balance, though. This is the third strategy: Make a contract with yourself. If you do three household tasks (or even one or two, however simple), reward yourself with some time doing a hobby you enjoy. For me, it is time in the craft room. I use the reward system because I can get into an “all or nothing” attitude: “The entire house will be perfect and it will get that way TODAY.” We don’t want that either, so just do the things that MOST need doing, and allow time for relaxing, spending time with family, or doing things you love to do.
I call myself a “recovering perfectionist.” That is because even though I have high ideals and lots of set ways for doing things, I’ve learned it is best for my mental health to relax my standards somewhat. But those old perfectionist ways die-hard. In some settings, having high standards is great, to be sure, such as on the job. But at home and when I’m doing hobbies it is best to give myself lots of grace. This includes realizing that there are many ways to do things well, even if things are rarely “perfect.” I am learning to be okay with that.
For those fellow perfectionist-types out there: Have you often found it hard to start things? What ways work for you to “get going?” Thanks so much for reading!
valeriesvoice 
Very nice Val. A lot I can take away from this, hopefully I can put it to good use.
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